on your Marks 6, set...go

I'm guessing that it's safe ground to say that Jesus was truly impressive during the three years of ministry we 'see' in the gospels. One aspect, I continue to be wowed by, was his approach to people. I may cover His rudeness & intentionality in a later post, for now I'm at empowerment.

The most striking example of this I've noticed recently is contained in Mark 6. As can be my want, I'm gonna start at the end

They were stunned, shaking their heads, wondering what was going on. They didn't understand what he had done at the supper. None of this had yet penetrated their hearts (v.51-52 Message)

The disciples just didn't get it - sounds a bit like me & certainly like a group that were Work-In-Progress.

If we work backwards through the chapter we see these things were everyday matters like walking on water & the feeding of 5000, no wonder they were a bit non-plused. But hold on, what's this at the beginning of chapter 6?!

Jesus called the Twelve to him, and sent them out in pairs. He gave them authority and power to deal with the evil opposition. He sent them off with these instructions: Don't think you need a lot of extra equipment for this. You are the equipment. No special appeals for funds. Keep it simple (v.7-9 Message)

Jesus sent out the disciples - but they don't get it yet, surely they're not 'ready' yet...oh, what's that Lord, they are...righty-ho

I find it fascinating that Jesus

• sent them out in pairs
• told them to keep it simple
• made it clear that they were the equipment

Might it be that we sometimes cramp people's development by asking & expecting them to be close to 'finished' before we'll use them? Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely for character development, playing to gift, training & setting people up to succeed, but should we be more Christlike, following His example, including the needed willingness to embrace failure?!

Releasing people at whatever stage is always going to create a tension to manage (ref Andy Stanley) but rather than treating them as problems to be solved - let's make sure we keep it as such.

Your fellow WIP

Jonathan

lessons from the littles

In backwards mirror of loving people I made a start on my thoughts around Loving God:Loving people. I wasn't planning to revisit this topic again, preferring to share some thoughts (as suggested in my last post) on 'magnify'. Whilst those thoughts are fine, maybe even good, they have been dwarfed by my reflections during the past 24 hours.

I had the privilege of being in with the Christian Centre (CCN) 'Elevators' yesterday morning (11-13's). In preparing, given they have been experiencing more of God's presence the last few weeks, I felt to talk with them about the absolute necessity of loving people if we are to & truly do love God. The core scripture was...

The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both - 1 John 4:21 (Message)

 ...& we had a few thoughts to guide a conversation rather than have a teaching time. I thought I'd ceased to be surprised when kids show a level of knowledge & understanding they're 'not supposed to' but when one of them started talking about 'knowing' during the first service I was truly gob-smacked. The reality is that at that point the leaders & kids were all on the same page!!

I had spent time the previous evening with an Elevate leader & we'd gotten to talking - during this time we'd discussed the need for us to know & be known (to love & be loved), I think I'd even gone as far as to say that when I looked round CCN staff at those I didn't yet love, it tended to be those I didn't yet know.

Q - is there anybody you need to get to know better?

The other outstanding point that came out yesterday was that we all have defaults. Kids of 11 & 12 don't know or use that word, but they are there for sure. In both of our morning's conversations, on multiple occasions, we heard... I'm not used to, people will think I'm strange...

Q - got any lousy defaults that need resetting?

Towards the end of our (first service) time, we were treated to another gem. To ensure we all understood what we were getting into, we made a series of statements that got progressively more 'uncomfortable' to embrace. As we were getting to the meat of it, one boy raised his hand. The way we'd set things up, this was supposed to mean he disagreed with the statement. He, however, had a question - am I raising my hand if I disagree or can I do it if I dislike what that statement means!

Within a John Piper tweet recently was this phrase "Come on the lookout for God, leave on the lookout for people". To be fair, he was talking in the context of Sunday church hospitality, I'm pretty sure it extends beyond those front doors when we leave.

I made a commitment along with the kids yesterday that this week, for a defined person, in a defined way, I was going to change my defaults & love them better. That rubber's about to hit the road & I suspect before the week's out I'll have some 'dislike' moments. The cause is worth the cost - care to join us?

Jonathan

PS to the Dad of the boy who rocked me to my core yesterday (you know who you are). You should be extremely proud of yourself as a Dad & your son as an emerging young man of God - love you man

holding to (Friday's) account

At the beginning of the week, I tweeted (rather rashly) that I had a quieter week which I would use to recalibrate & re-establish some good practices. I also suggested that I'd blog how I went on, more for accountability (always a good thing) than any other reason.

The reality is, it's been a mixed week - improvements in some areas, with some things I clearly need to keep working on & working through & a continuing realisation that some things will be a lifetimes work!

Within all of that, there were two highlights

1. On Tuesday we had our (CCN) staff away day & at the end of the day a number of people were given prophetic words: mine was to remain passionate without striving. I can't (& for now won't) tell you why that was so spot on. Safe to say - I'm working on it, but suspect it may be one of the lifetime jobs!
2. As part of my jumping around the bible, I currently find myself in John & arrived at chapter 4. I was struck (alomst literally) by the fact that twice Jesus point blank refuses the chance to compete or allow comparison.

Jesus realized that the Pharisees were keeping count of the baptisms that he and John performed (although his disciples, not Jesus, did the actual baptizing). They had posted the score that Jesus was ahead, turning him and John into rivals in the eyes of the people. So Jesus left the Judean countryside and went back to Galilee (v.1-3)

Are you a better man than our ancestor Jacob, who dug this well and drank from it, he and his sons and livestock, and passed it down to us?" Jesus said, "Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again (v.12-13)

I need to hear this, competing is one of the main ways my vanity manifests itself. Safe to say - I'm working on it, but suspect it may be one of the lifetime jobs!

Although I have a busier week next week, my determination is to carry on with an intentional focus on the things I know stand me in good stead, even if I have to keep going for months & years.

Not sure I'd like to commit to another weekly update this time next week, suspect it'd be a bit boring & repetitive. I will, however, blog again during the next few days - there are a few things I'm mulling, including the word magnify.

Yours in Him

Jonathan

30:200:300:2

I like numbers & patterns, don't hate me, it's just the way God made me! This extends to my bible reading, so imagine my excitement when I started to see a recurrence of numbers around silver coin stories in the gospels.

That is when one of the Twelve, the one named Judas Iscariot, went to the cabal of high priests and said, "What will you give me if I hand him over to you?" They settled on thirty silver pieces. He began looking for just the right moment to hand him over - Matthew 26:14-16 (Message)

Wow - betrayal is cheap, priced at a mere 30 silver coins (denarius - equivalent to about a months wages for an average person, Matthew 20:2). Bear in mind, this was the religious leaders agreeing to "pay him well" (Luke 22:5).

Moving on

When Jesus looked out and saw that a large crowd had arrived, he said to Philip, "Where can we buy bread to feed these people?" He said this to stretch Philip's faith. He already knew what he was going to do. Philip answered, "Two hundred silver pieces wouldn't be enough to buy bread for each person to get a piece." - John 6:5-7 (Message) 

The price of feeding the flock is far more (over six months wages) & rightly so. Interestingly, it doesn't say they hadn't got that sort of money.

Yet more extravagant again is the cost of our own abandoned worship!

Mary came in with a jar of very expensive aromatic oils, anointed and massaged Jesus' feet, and then wiped them with her hair. The fragrance of the oils filled the house. Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him, said, "Why wasn't this oil sold and the money given to the poor? It would have easily brought three hundred silver pieces." - John 12:3-5 (Message)

Bible commentators would suggest that as well as extravagant (we're now getting towards a year's wages), the jar of perfume was likely a key part of Mary's livelihood. This adds another dynamic to the story & caps off three stories that enable me to show a great progression from betrayal to worship & all is well with the world. Or so I thought! It was then that some bounder threw this at me

Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, "The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all!" - Luke 21:1-4 (Message)

Two pennies, that doesn't fit, for goodness sake, they weren't even silver!

Not only did that wreck my maths, it didn't do me much good either. The first three stories all contain relative numbers & I thought I had a sporting chance of getting my head around abandoned worship. This however, is absolute, this was "all she had" (I find it fascinating that it's 2 coins, not 1 or 3 - I'll explain why another time).

It might not be comfy & it sure doesn't fit neatly with my logic (although on a non-numerical level, there clearly is an escalation right through to the final story). At the end of the day, there is no escaping that we are called to give our everything. For me, that is a daily work-in-progress as I learn to hold on to some things less tightly & to never let go of Him. I trust you can say the same for yourselves.

Jonathan

The Adjustment Bureau needs adjusting

I wasn't planning to blog for a few days but earlier today, I saw The Adjustment Bureau. One day, I'll learn to find out a bit more about films before going - safe to say this wasn't that day.

What follows is not a comment on the film itself (which is very clever), nor the acting (which is good) but some of the theology & concepts in it. It's fair to say that on such topics there's plenty I don't know, that I'm happy with that being the case & actually believe it's correct (given I'm not God). Anyone who knows me, also knows I don't tend to ride the theological wagon very often, but this is something that couldn't & shouldn't be ignored (yes I know it's only a film!).

It's fast moving & I couldn't process quickly enough, so I'm left with what's 'stuck'. There is some good stuff in there but on reflection this causes part of my concern because it can be used as a 'Trojan horse' for some other less helpful lines of thinking.

There are some things I fundamentally believe - here's how they tally against the film

Agree

• our actions have consequences
• God's desire is that our choices will outwork His plan & that we pray accordingly
• how bold & free we then become in His presence, freely asking according to His will, sure that He's listening - 1 John 5:14 (MSG)
• angels don't know every detail of God's plan

Disagree

• God & His angels spend their time messing with our free will
• that God takes a rubber to the plan & issues a new one
• angels swear

Don't know

• whether we can change God's mind (e.g. through prayer). There seem to have been a few extraordinary biblical characters who did manage this, as for me...?

So, I'm not saying do or don't watch this film. If you do, take the opportunity to stay on your toes mentally with your spirit alive & looking at it as (in part) an opportunity to strengthen your beliefs. I may yet end up watching it a second time for myself!

BTW - if anyone comes by one of those hats & finds a way to use doors to travel around quickly, I'm a buyer.

Cheers for now

Jonathan

Holy, Holy, Holy - sure?

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I want & we should want more of God's presence - by this I mean His manifest presence (accepting, but not referring to the fact that He can (if I allow Him to) constantly dwell within me by the Spirit).

Now to my dilemma - I'm not sure we know what we're asking for when we ask for this. I've sat in too many meetings where people with correct motives have invited God's presence to come amongst us. I haven't sat in many meetings where that has been introduced alongside a sober judgement of what that might look like. Let me illustrate

The first few verses of Isaiah 6 give us an insight into what it's like to be in God's perfectly Holy presence

• angels who themselves are pretty holy are using 4 of their 6 wings to protect themselves
• 2 for their face
• 2 for their feet
• they call back & forth to each other (Holy, Holy, Holy) so loud that the foundations of the building tremble
• paraphrasing Isaiah himself, his take on matters is...'oh crap, I'm about to die', admittedly having "looked God in the face"

At the beginning of 2010, Christian Centre (Nottingham) sat under some great teaching around being presence carriers & from this came a season during which there was an intensification of God's manifest presence.

There were two occasions during this period when I was genuinely scared to step into the building, in case we had an Isaiah 6 moment. I'm not sure we should live in that place all the time, I'm not even sure whether 'scared' is the appropriate word. I am convinced however, that we need to have the correct attitude when we ask Him to join us.

May we all experience more of God in every way possible & have the awe that goes hand-in-hand with approaching Him.

Jonathan 

epiphany & equations

I figured I'd circle back on a couple of things I mentioned earlier - namely epiphanies & logic. I referenced in who?, an 'altered course' from 2003, there was a second kink in 2006.

It's a Saturday in July & I'm buying a couple of friends lunch in the centre of Nottingham. We weren't there to talk about me, but suddenly we were & in particular my frequent lament that I'd come to believe that

my time is more valuable than my money

Their question was, when did I intend to actually do something about that?! Long story short, I acted the following Thursday, a move which ended in a new role, with a great boss, but only 3 days a week (I'll come back another time to the 'spare' time).

I've come to understand what happened to me that day (& at other times) through the following equation (it's not of my own making but can't reference it)

a + b + c > d

where

a = dissatisfaction with the status quo
b = a vision of something better
c = first step towards change
d = the perceived cost of change

As I sat & ate, I already had my 'b' & my 'c' - my 'a' however, had never been big enough to overcome my 'd'.

In words

I wasn't wound up enough to do something that felt risky

That day, my 'd' didn't shrink, I was & still am a risk averse sort of guy, but my 'a' went through the roof & the rest as they say is history. Whilst not the purpose of writing, this includes the fact that in my first full year at 3 days a week, I earned more than I ever had & I'm talking in absolute terms.

Next steps time again - take a minute to think about an area in your life which isn't as you believe God would currently have it to be. Take another minute (or two) to capture your vision of something better (b) & a first step towards that (c). These are typically the easiest of the four ingredients to get at but if you can't do this alone, find a good & trustworthy friend & work through it with them.

Armed with those two elements - there's only one remaining step! Get yourself to a place where you can't not change, however, you do that. If it helps you along your way, my experience is that 'd', the perceived cost of change is in reality rarely as big as we presume it to be.

I'm a long way from 'sorted' myself & continue to use this process in my journey (more of that on another occasion). On the way, let's stay strong & close to Him

Jonathan

backwards mirror of loving people

The logical side of me heavily influences the way I 'consume' scripture - it's something I've come to embrace & enjoy. Recently, it has caused me to consider some scriptures backwards. I started by asking myself whether I gave freely, especially in the area of grace (Romans 3:23), came to the conclusion I didn't & found myself questioning how freely I truly believe I have been given (Matthew 10:8) grace.

That got me to Jesus' boiled down version of the bible

Love God - Love people

Now approached head on, I convince myself that I do love God (and for the record, I do). However, if I come at it backwards by asking how much I truly love people (including the less lovable ones!), I'm left with a wholly unconvincing picture of my love for God (1 John 4:12). I find this a healthy place to be, one of fuller comprehension rather than of condemnation and wouldn't want anybody to feel like they're getting beaten up - that's just not my style. Challenging yes - a bully no.

Now on a roll, I wanted to go on and explore whether there was a backwards reason that might help me unlock a greater love for God and I came across Luke 7

...therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little

Matthew Henry in his commentary puts it like this

Loving much is not the cause but the effect of her pardon

Let's face it, even a good me ain't that nice, but to know that I can not be loved anymore than I am by God almighty Himself is quite mind blowing. The thing is, the more I get that, the more I will love Him and the more I love Him, the more I will love people.

Enjoy God's backwards kingdom

Jonathan

John Ortberg brings the ouch

My most recent read was the me I want to be by Mr John Ortberg. If you aren't acquainted with Mr O, I would highly recommend you rectify that via his site, that of Menlo or with a book or two.

I could never do the whole book justice in any event & even less so in a short blog, but I have two quotes that continue to ring in my ears

people would rather debate doctrine or beliefs or tradition or interpretation than actually do what Jesus said...It is easier to be smart than good

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against theology (per se) and certainly not against beliefs or values, far from it. I do, however, sometimes get to wondering if we make aspects of discipleship more complicated than they need to be, because understanding them is just plain uncomfy any way you look at it.

Sǿren Aabye Kierkegaard put it like this

The matter is quite simple. The bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. How would I ever get on in the world? Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the bible coming too close. Oh, priceless scholarship, what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament

I don't know about you, but I increasingly want to bible to come 'too close', without even knowing what that always means. I certainly don't want to entertain the option of understanding and not feeling 'obliged to act accordingly'.

In my next blog, I'm likely to return to God's love and see if something that has helped me recently can be of any help to you guys.

Till then, how about we dare to be a little more New Testament - I will if you will. Besides, I hear smart is over-rated!

Your co-swindler

Jonathan

let's get to scripture

Having used up my first four posts for some necessary basics, it would only be right to start proper with bible. I'm the kind of guy who reads the bible as prompted rather than to a pattern. Another aspect of my reading, is that it's very rare that I carry the same verse for months; but this is currently the case.

Let me (re)introduce you to 1 Thessalonians 3:12 (Message)

And may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you

Here's where that one sentence is taking me

1. pour on not 'pour out' - I was immediately struck by my need for proximity to the love that the Master is consistently 'pouring out' for it to actually be poured on
2. Digging deeper, I found that there are actually different root words for each of the two phrases - pour on has within its meaning aspects of superabundance rather than just a general outpouring
3. fills your lives - the fuller I am, the easier it is to spill, if I spill, I'll need refilling
4. on everyone around - there's a challenge, both to be mindful of those we choose to do life with & those who we might find less 'lovable'
5. when you get to the end - repeat 1. thro' 4.

I'm an intentional sort of guy & love finishing with next steps - take a moment & decide, where you need to pay more attention in the coming days.

Stay blessed & close to Him as He saturates us with His love

Jonathan

what?

Given that this will be my third question? post on the bounce, I promise to change tack after this one. It does, however, seem only fair to give you an idea of what? you might & might not expect to read here in the coming weeks if you choose to stick around

Anyone following along on Twitter (@jpdshearman) will have noted that there are a few things I like & am likely to want to share

#1 The bible - I have fallen completely in love with the scriptures during the past 18 months & the Message is my version of choice

#2 I like to read books, often finding inspiration & thought provoking stuff therein. I also do my best to keep up with a range of podcasts so one or two of those may feature

#3 Whether from books or elsewhere, I love a good quote

#4 I'm gonna do my best to stay away from theology, church structure & anything else that has a tendency towards more heat than light

#5 Finally, I do my very best to attribute wherever possible, you should pass that on. As for 'my stuff' - it's only my view and doesn't represent any other organisation (Ed!) but it's yours to use

who?

By now, you might be wondering who? I am. Here's a few thoughts...

#1 My name is Jonathan Shearman, I just turned 40, I'm blessed to still have a wonderful marriage (maybe more of that later) and alongside that two daughters of whom I am exceedingly proud

#2 I'm a PK (Pastor's Kid) having been raised in the home of David & Dorothy Shearman (Christian Centre), this has had a massive impact on my life

#3 After a degree in Economics, I threw myself into stockbroking, then had my first epiphany in May 2003 and started plotting an alternative course (certainly more of that later)

#4 In terms of gifts - I'm a logical person who sees the world in diagrams and has an ability to boil stuff down to the bare minimum. My StrengthsFinder would show you Competition, Achiever & Significance as all up there

#5 Most importantly, I'm a follower of Christ and one who is 'working out their salvation in fear & trembling, one day at a time'. The more I become like Christ, the more I love people, coz that's just bible

why?

So I suggested I'd start with why? and, in no particular order, here goes...

#1 I don't like speaking in public, due in part to having tendencies towards emotional incontinence, but largely because I have behind the scenes gifts like Administration

#2 I do, however, believe that I occasionally have things worth sharing (more of that in the what? to follow)

#3 Over time, I have found that whilst my default isn't always writing, it does help me boil down & crystalize my thoughts. It also allows me to challenge whether I'm really talking 'core convictions' (a la John Ortberg)

#4 Sometimes 140 characters just won't do. I'm a big fan of Twitter (@jpdshearman), but it has its limits!

#5 I love to think of people finding their God given greatness and a blog or any other small part I can play in that brings me and more importantly Him pleasure

starting out

So - I normally spend time between Christmas and New Year recalibrating. As part of last year's process, for the first time, I thought seriously about some sort of writing. That thought hasn't gone away and I'm not ready for a book deal so I'm here blogging.

As I currently sit, I reckon my first few posts will cover some of the basics in the form of question words (I love questions): why? who? what? and how?

But for now, I'm going to leave you - until we meet again, know that you are loved by Him with a boundless and never-ending love.

Jonathan