maybe

As part of a quieter August, I've had some time to think & reflect. I expected this to happen although my planning suggested some theological study. Rather than that, I've ended up thinking about the 'simplicities' of life - in particular sin, patterns, habits & disciplines.

I've returned at times to 1 John, which, alongside love brings out a theme of walking in the light versus walking in the dark, the latter highlighting our choosing to practice sin.

No one who lives deeply in Christ makes a practice of sin. None of those who do practice sin have taken a good look at Christ. (1 John 3:6 MSG)

Think about it naturally, if you're walking in the light it is still possible to stumble (sin) occasionally but far more unlikely than if you are choosing to walk in the dark & practicing.

Last August, I heard a man talk about the 'Moment of Maybe'. He defined it brilliantly in a context of how we often end up choosing to sin & one year on, it lives large in my thinking.

Rather than going straight from a No, I'm not going to do that to a Yep, I'll do that, he suggests we go through Maybe...

- what would it be like if...
- how would it feel to...
- could I get away with...

His wise counsel was to spot the Moments where we move to Maybe, allow the Spirit to guide us & quickly return to a place of choosing not to sin - turn on the lights!

We see a couple of examples of how this can play out from the Apostles, even as Jesus was preparing to make the ultimate sacrifice...

Judas

Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him. (John 12:4 MSG)

It was suppertime. The Devil by now had Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, firmly in his grip, all set for the betrayal. (John 13:2 MSG)

As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. "What you must do," said Jesus, "do. Do it and get it over with." (John 13:27 MSG)

Peter

Jesus said, "Don't be so sure. Today, this very night in fact, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times." (Mark 14:30 MSG)

Just then the rooster crowed a second time. Peter remembered how Jesus had said, "Before a rooster crows twice, you'll deny me three times." He collapsed in tears. (Mark 14:72 MSG)

For my part (& hopefully yours), this grounds itself most simply in a need to choose - will I choose to settle for the short term gratification of sin or choose the longer term rewards including a heavenly eternity?

As Deuteronomy spells out

I've brought you today to the crossroads of Blessing and Curse. (11:26 MSG)

Let's choose well - Jonathan

SOAP - August 24

Scripture
Luke 12:47 The servant who knows what his master wants and ignores it, or insolently does whatever he pleases, will be thoroughly thrashed.

Observation
Once again the scriptures present themselves in a clear, unmistakable way & in a timely manner.

The following verse provides some restbite for those remaining ignorant (they only get a slap on the hand), this verse speaks to those (me included) who to at least some extent know what his master wants.

Application
If I want to avoid a thrashing, feels like I only have two choices...

1) descend into ignorance (if that's even possible) to hide away from challenge & punishment

2) get in line with the master's will & follow through with what I know to be good and faithful

Prayer
Lord - thank you for a timely reminder to stay mindful of you, even in the little things. May I remain close to you & do your bidding.

Thank you for your continuing mercy & grace - Jonathan

SOAP - August 20

Scripture
Luke 6:9 Then Jesus addressed them, "Let me ask you something: What kind of action suits the Sabbath best? Doing good or doing evil? Helping people or leaving them helpless?"

Observation
Rather than any comment around Sabbath, I am struck by the second half of this verse. Could it be that Jesus is equating...

1) doing good = helping people

2) doing evil = leaving them helpless

Don't get me wrong, I'm down with the first, but I have a 'better', less painful version of the second...

2) doing nothing (neutrality) = leaving them helpless

To go further than that is a challenge, but hey, I guess that's the way Jesus rolls!

Application
1) be mindful of those I encounter that are helpless
2) more of the time &
3) actually do something

Prayer
Lord - rather than this be another 'thing' I try to work into my thinking & bring about myself, let me love You more that that would be displayed in my behaviour towards others.

Thanks - Jonathan

PS it's going to be less easy to get online for the next few days - I'll post up as I can

SOAP - August 19

Scripture
Luke 5:16 As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer.

Observation
I'm guilty at times of reading too quickly - this extends to the bible. That can mean that I catch the main point of sentences but not always the totality & nuances.

First time round I started this verse at the word 'Jesus' & was taken with the challenge to withdraw for prayer. Second time around, I started at 'As' & was confronted with the fact that Jesus not only did this, but did it as often as He could.

Application
At 'my best' I crave God's presence through His word & prayer (including silence). I need to need that so as not to be able to exist outside of Him.

Prayer
Please make me more mindful of You & increasingly reliant on You

Thank you - Jonathan

pride & vanity - chasing it down

As I referenced at the end of the second post (August 8th) in this mini-series, I've become aware of a sequence that can be seen during my encounters with people. For this post, whilst both pride & vanity are at work, I believe they have the same generic root - that is somebody other than God being in focus. Given that, I have, for the most part, lumped them together.

The sequence starts as follows...

I think & say whatever I want to but with no awareness as to any p&v that's driving my words

Then moves on to...

I think & say whatever I want to, am aware of p&v driving my words but don't care

I think & say whatever I want to, being aware what p&v is driving my words & caring but not enough to stop saying them

I think & start to say whatever I want but aware of what of it is driven by p&v, care enough to stop part way through sentences

I think of what I want to say, am aware of any p&v behind those words & care enough to stop before I start

I believe I'm somewhere between these last two (more of that in a moment). Given that, I can only presume what comes thereafter, but I reckon we'd be looking at...

a pure heart out of which comes pure thoughts & pure words with no filtering required!

Over the past couple of weeks I have sought to face the demons of p&v, some of that in public. I've had to come to terms with the bigger issue in my life being vanity. On the way into August, I'd have been expecting these four posts to be a battle with my pride.

Going forward, I'm still working out my theology on what's the 'active' part in addressing my pride & vanity. Thus far...

1) I don't believe it's primarily about trying harder - clearly conformity to Christlikeness is in order

'transformed into the same image from glory to glory'    (2 Cor 3:18 ASV)

2) I must allow the Holy Spirit to live within & cultivate His presence

'the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out' (Luke 3:16 MSG)

3) Giving God the top spot in life (pride & vanity - who's being uplifted) in every way possible is essential to displace any mistaken notion of pride (my Godlikeness)

4) As I love Him more, my love of self & for others will come out of that, chasing away the needs of vanity

5) Rather than the mere passing of time, I do believe intentional disciplines are essential

Within this, I'm at a pivotal point where to press on is painful. It requires me choosing to be less visibly 'virtuous'. My current state of stopping part way through sentences has to change - I'm going to need to die in silence.

Elvis said it best - 'a little less conversation, a little more action please.'

That's me done. Thank you for your patience as I've sort to 'work out my salvation'. My prayer is that we would all do the same as we continue on our pilgrimage.

Jonathan

SOAP - August 18

Scripture
Luke 3:22 ...the Holy Spirit, like a dove descending, came down on him. And along with the Spirit, a voice: "You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life."

Observation
It may have been said before & I'm sure it'll be said again, but today I need to hear it - God loved & was proud of Jesus before He lifted a finger in ministry. Up until this point, out of their love for one another, Jesus had cultivated His 'being' - increasing in wisdom & in stature & in favour.

Application
Chillax - August hasn't gone exactly to plan but rather than getting wound up by that, spend today, basking in His love for you & responding in kind to Him, yourself & others.

Prayer
Let me feel Your love & sense your smile throughout today & may I behave in ways that bring you glory.

Thanks - Jonathan

pride & vanity - in practice

In pride & vanity - the basics (according to me!!), we considered the need to split pride & vanity into two unique demons of the soul. Given their individual nature, it would make sense that each needs addressing in a different way. Having started us off down this path, Finding Happiness continues in this way.

As a counter to vanity, the Abbot introduces magnanimity & defines it as follows

The word comes from the Latin magnus animus meaning literally a large mind or more colloquially a big heart

Practically, this manifests itself as me delighting in & praising others for no other reason than those themselves, expecting nothing in return. I find myself able to grasp & (at times) practice this!

Not surprisingly, Finding Happiness also introduces humility as the counter to pride. I find that far more difficult to define, let alone embrace & practice. C J Mahaney's Humility, True Greatness has helped me on this front.

He zones in, firstly on daily practices & then some focused ways to help embrace humility. The whole book is worthy of comment but what follows are my highlights.

Daily practices

1) Reflect on the wonder of the cross - for me, this is best captured as regular confession of sin

to truly be serious and deliberate in mortifying pride and cultivating greatness, you must each day survey the wondrous cross on which the prince of glory died 

every time we look at the cross Christ seems to be saying to us, "I am here because of you. It is your sin I am bearing, your curse I am suffering, your debt I am paying, your death I am dying" 

all of us have inflated views of ourselves, especially in self-righteousness, until we have visited a place called Calvary. It is there, at the foot of the cross, that we shrink to our true size

2) Begin your day expressing gratitude to God - for me, this is best captured as regular counting of my blessings

3) Begin your day acknowledging your need of God

4) Practice spiritual disciplines

5) Seize your commute

6) Cast your cares upon Him

7) Avoid cosmic plagiarism

whatever success you experience in your life and ministry and vocation, learn to immediately transfer the glory to Him

8) Accept the gift of sleep

Special focus ways to weaken pride & cultivate humility

1) Study the attributes of God

"apart from God, I cannot exist. Apart from me, God does exist. God does not need me in order for Him to be; I do need God in order for me to be." R C Sproul 

"by the grace of God I am what I am, but God says absolutely...I am that I am" Matthew Henry

2) Study the doctrines of grace

the doctrines of grace leave no room for self-congratulation, no room for self-glorification 

our calling upon Him was preceded and made possible by His calling us! That's humbling

3) Study the doctrine of sin

the ultimate effect from such hardening by sin is that grace, for the Christian, is no longer amazing

I haven't gone into much detail in this post, the reality is you may need to do your own leg work & for my part, I want to get to the final part of this mini-series & then move on. I'm hoping I can turn my current draft into a finished article before we depart for our family holidays!

Any prayers on that front would be welcome, since, I believe this next post is an important chapter end for me & one of the key aspects of my August experience.

Jonathan

SOAP - August 16

Scripture
Luke 3:9 What counts is your life. Is it green and blossoming? Because if it's deadwood, it goes on the fire."

Observation
Having had a few days break, I can't believe we're straight back to more fire (SOAP - August 8). I want a fruitful life but can often lose sight of the fact that I have to sow to reap & that any harvest takes a while rather than yielding the instant success I so often crave.

Application
My time away at the Willow GLS has already set off a number of things in me that require more reflection & I intend to take stock during the remainder of a quiet August - recalibrating & embracing fresh revelations as best I can.

A filter of what's truly green & blossoming in my life will come in handy & almost certainly lead to some more deadwood for the fire!

Prayer
Lord - thank you for your blessings, including friends, safe travel & people diligently laying out & modelling your word.

It's great to be home; help me stay true to what you want to do in me during the coming days, even if it induces some necessary pain.

Thank you again - Jonathan

No SOAP - August 10 thro' 15

As I went into August with the intention of SOAPing, my desire was to add a little depth to my scripture thinking, my belief was that I'd be pulling out useful, encouraging insights.

For several days now, 'all' I have found are verses & issues that have hit me in some core areas - far less comfy than planned!

Given that, I'm off overseas for a few days (Willow Creek GLS - yippee!) for time with great friends, good coffee & a few days escape from all this challenge (only joking on the last bit).

See you next Tuesday - Jonathan

SOAP - August 9

Scripture
Mark 10:50 Throwing off his coat, he was on his feet at once and came to Jesus.

Observation
It's the story of a blind man in Mark 10 that contains this verse. Take a minute to put yourself in his shoes (if indeed he had any)...

- his blindness: would almost certainly have made him poor, what few possessions he had would be precious

- his blindness: meant if he lost something, he was unlikely to get it back, doubly so in a crowd

- his coat: may well have been his bed & almost certainly his major source of warmth

A couple of verses on, we are told your faith has saved and healed you (v.52). Given the potential ramifications, how would my faith have held up? Do I trust Jesus enough for these considerations to not even be a factor?

Application
I believe I'm a generous person but alongside this, it is certainly the case that I have restricted faith, putting too much onus on 'my' gift & 'my' material blessings to see me through.

I need to not hold on tight to a lot of things (v.22).

Prayer
Father, help me to embrace again today that You are God & all that 'I am' comes from you being the I Am. That when it comes to eternal matters, I have as Jesus put it "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it."

Ummm, it's good to feel your smile - Jonathan

pride & vanity - who's being uplifted

There are (at least) a couple of matters that have grown massively in importance to me during this year...

1) a need for actions to match words...Words are not mere words, you know. If they're not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul (2 Tim 2 MSG)

Without this, we aren't authentic, we aren't modelling & we aren't providing true leadership (& we're all leaders)

2) beyond that there is a need to further consider what drives those actions

I can do the 'right' things for the wrong reasons & be out of whack

I find it fascinating to consider the ordering of our relationships in different scenarios. I'm not saying these orders are correct for all occasions (yes I remember Jesus first, Yourself last & Others in-between!) but they are helping me as windows into my behaviour.

The key questions I consider at any point in time are...

1. where's the love?
2. whose view of me matters most?
3. who's being uplifted?

For each scenario below, I also pose a couple of starting thoughts. I'm sure if they aren't your versions, you can get honest with yourself & fill in the blanks.

Right standing:- God is in His rightful place, I find my identity in Him & love others as I love myself, as follows...

God
Me
Others

Leadership: people following me following Jesus
Listening: I listen so as to listen

-------------------------------------------------

Given pride:- I'm the most important person to me & in my ultimate desire to be God, I want as much of a gap between me & the Real Deal; leaves you with this...

Me
Others
my God

Leadership: people following me following me

Listening: I 'listen' so as to talk (to uplift myself!!)

-------------------------------------------------

Given vanity:- my desire to be God to others is paramount & they get used to 'fulfil' this fantasy, resulting in this order...

Others
my God
Me

Leadership: who knows who's really leading who?!

Listening: I listen so as to fix (taking God's place)

-------------------------------------------------

Using these filters (often in real-time) has greatly benefited me during this year - especially in my interactions with people.

I was planning to post more on that front next time but feel to change the order of the final two pieces, now finishing with pride & vanity - chasing it down, for reasons which should become obvious.

TTFN - Jonathan

SOAP - August 8

Scripture
Mark 9:49 "Everyone's going through a refining fire sooner or later..."

Observation
A great friend of mine uses this phrase - 'fire now or fire later'. He & I have decided that individually & together we're going for fire now.

Obviously, that's not always going to be pretty since it causes the dross to come to the surface. There's also likely to be pain, but as J John would say 'the cause (on earth & eternally) is worth the cost'.

Application
I need to embrace today - it's another opportunity for refinement as I 'work out my salvation'.

Prayer
Lord, I thank you for the existing fires in my life & that your love is so great that you continue to challenge & discipline me for my best.

If the heat needs turning up in any areas, please do so.

Yours - Jonathan

SOAP - August 7

Scripture
Mark 6:3b They tripped over what little they knew about Him and fell, sprawling. And they never got any further.

Observation
I found myself in a conversation yesterday being pretty judgemental about somebody based on very limited knowledge. I was clear & keen to point out that I was voicing a view based only on my perceptions.

However, it got me to thinking about the gap that can exist between perception & reality - a place where there is room for all manner of (unanswered) nonsense & misunderstanding. It can cost me a true insight to a person & their gift...ultimately in this verse, it cost people knowing Jesus.

Application
In truth, whilst a theory of change would be pretty easy to verbalise, I don't yet know how I need to apply myself in reality by way of attitude & action adjustments - that doesn't mean I'm not still on the case.

Prayer
Lord, feels like I just had a blind spot revealed - thank you for friends that will do that with you.

Please keep instructing me in the way forward & may I be dis-satisfied enough to undertake the cost of change.

Thanks - Jonathan

SOAP - August 6

Scripture
Mark 5:38 They entered the leader's house and pushed their way through the gossips looking for a story and neighbours bringing in casseroles.

Observation
In just one chapter I was spoilt for choice but decided to go with v.38 since anything else would have been a clever thought rather than a personal challenge. In other peoples' times of trouble do I...

1. look for a story
2. seek to gather information
3. try to 'fix' (& potentially satisfy 'self')

All of which are my versions of gossip or am I looking to be the neighbourly hands & feet of Jesus - bringing in casseroles?

Application
I need to be more aware that sometimes people need me to be their neighbour. I need to be aware all of the time that they rarely need me to be a gossip.

Prayer
Heavenly Father, I need to be & want to be slower to gossip & quicker to be like Jesus. Open my eyes to see people as you do.

Thank you for the blessings contained within my today - Jonathan

pride & vanity - the basics (according to me!!)

Introduction
I've mentioned pride & vanity (p&v) a few times during previous blogs but have never sought to try & do them justice. Clearly, that is actually impossible to do, but I'm about to have a better go than previously.

Having considered an overview of what I intend to cover in the next few posts, my desire is to be as honest as possible about my own pilgrimage & trust I don't upset or offend along the way.

During a recent lunchtime chat/analytical session, I was encouraged by a remarkable friend of mine to rejoice in the visible grace of God on my life & celebrate my journey to date. I intend to take this to heart but at the same time do not want to avoid confronting the demons of pride & vanity that lurk in my soul.

I've come to a belief that this month, including these posts should be (& therefore will be!!) the closing of a particular chapter in my life around these topics.

Overview
My current intent is to post 4 times. They may be longer than is my norm...

1) this is the first to lay some foundations

2) working title: pride & vanity - who's being uplifted

hoping that, at least in part, aspects of my journey are generic, I'd like to share an insight that is helping me come to terms with p&v

3) working title: pride & vanity - chasing it down

as with 2), this post will cover how I am intentionally working & therefore watching my p&v be transformed to Christlikeness

4) working title: pride & vanity - in practice

using Humility, True Greatness by C.J Mahaney as a guide, I'll conclude with some more practical reflections

Jonathan's Finding Happiness
Two additional books have greatly helped me to date in better acknowledging, understanding, embracing & dealing with p&v.

The first was Abba's Child by Brennan Manning which alerted me to what Manning refers to as the impostor - a shadow me I create to hide the real me & heighten my perceived chances of being liked!

Having been softened up, Finding Happiness by Abbot Christopher Jamison delivered some knock out blows.

The first amazingly useful thing Jamison does is to split pride from vanity (though I suffer from both). I believe that these days they are too often wrapped up together & 'just' tagged as pride.

Thereafter, a few quotes will further illuminate his thoughts far better than I could...

the final pair of the Eight Thoughts, however, is active in the spiritual dimension itself. These are the demons of the soul, vanity and pride, hidden from view and hard to detect

vanity becomes evident through attitudes such as complacency about our skills and qualities, sometimes combined with narcissism and self-admiration. It differs from pride because pride does not necessarily involve the desire for praise. Pride involves placing ourselves above others and ultimately placing ourselves above God

vanity is a demon of the soul, however, and so is overcome by generosity in the soul not in the body. A magnanimous soul is one that can affirm the true worth of self and of other people without needing to make special claims for oneself

if pride vanity is self-satisfaction, then pride is self-importance. The two often go together, but it is quite possible to have one without the other

Having meditated on these words & reflected on my own manifested p&v, I have come to the following working definitions...

pride - me wanting to be God

vanity - me wanting others to want me to be God

So, for now, I leave you at this point - hoping that; we've clarified that there is both pride &/or vanity to contend with, having an understanding that they aren't easy to detect & with definitions through which to view the ongoing 'conversation'.

The vain part of me (that wants you lot to regard me as perfect & Godlike!) would have me write all 4 posts, cross check them, make them interact well & then space the publication dates - I've quashed that part to publish one post at a time.

I'm (mostly) excited about grappling with some of the deep soul issues & trust you are likewise. As ever - I'd love for this to become interactive. BTW - if it hasn't become clear the title of this post is my version of humour - or it is?!

Jonathan

SOAP - August 5

Scripture
Proverbs 5:6 She hasn't a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where she's going.

Observation
This verse actually references the 'seductive woman' but I was struck by the suggestion that because she knows neither who she is nor where she's going she doesn't understand Real Life.

Application
Ultimately, I know I'm a child of The King & Heaven bound for eternity. In the meantime, whilst on planet Earth, I'm definitely a long way from working out & living out the fullest expression of who I am and don't always understand where I'm going either!

Prayer
Lord, I'm struck this morning by your patience. As Master of The Universe, you'd have every right to command matters. Yet you allow me the freedom to work out my salvation one day at a time in fear & trembling, cocooning me in your Fatherly love the entire time. Wow!

Thanks Abba - Jonathan

SOAP - August 4

Scripture
Mark 2 (MSG) Jesus said to the paraplegic, "Son, I forgive your sins...Get up. Pick up your stretcher and go home."

Observation
I've read this encounter with Jesus a fair few times & would normally associate it with the stance of the Pharisees. This morning I saw something different.

Despite being 'good to go' after Jesus' first statement - Son, I forgive your sins, the man only manifested his wholeness after the second more practical statement - Get up. Pick up your stretcher and go home.

Application
I'm going to sin today, hopefully not on purpose, but the reality is I will (in fact I already have). Rather than needing to hear Jesus a second time with a clearer instruction, I'm going to be quicker to embrace His forgiveness & live in the freedom it brings.

Prayer
Lord, I have very little idea why you love me or indeed how much you love me. Alongside this choosing to forgive the things I've done wrong & do wrong is mind boggling.

Help me not to need to work it all out or need loads of instruction but be quick to embrace your mercy & grace.

Thanks - Jonathan

SOAP - August 3

Scripture
Proverbs 1:33 First pay attention to me, and then relax.
Now you can take it easy - you're in good hands.

Observation
Well how about that - having come to the end of Jude yesterday, I felt to move on elsewhere rather than Revelation & Proverbs got the vote. A good move, especially during a month of recalibration.

Immediately, it would appear that I got it wrong yesterday when I suggested there was no application, 'just' a need to rest, relax & open my heart.

Here in Proverbs 1, we're given sight of an action required before relaxing...that is to first pay attention to me. Me here being 'Lady Wisdom'.

If you go on to consider the first few verses on chapter 2, we're helped further in considering what our paying attention might look like

1) collect my counsels & guard them with your life
2) tune your ears to the world of Wisdom
3) set your heart on a life of Understanding
4) make Insight your priority & don't take no for an answer
5) search for it

Application
My intention is to read through the rest of Proverbs over the next few days - I will apply myself to paying attention when wisdom is talked of. I'd also be surprised if there aren't some words to follow around the 'fear of God'.

Prayer
Lord - help me to want to be wise, to know what it looks like & take the time to pursue it

Thanks - Jonathan

SOAP - August 2

Scripture
Jude 1:2 Relax, everything's going to be all right; rest, everything's coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!

Observation
It's my first day proper of August downtime & this verse was within my daily reading - I love it when God doesn't even make you go looking for His wisdom...except maybe when it's something less easy to 'hear'.

To a proud & vain control freak being told to relax & rest whilst everything comes together in your absence isn't easy - but as John Ortberg would say "there is a God and it's not me" so I'm gonna go with it.

Application
Feels like the application is that there isn't one! Bar doing what I'm told & opening my heart.

Prayer
Lord, I thank you that I can rest secure knowing that you hold the entire universe in the palm of your hand & have everything under control.

At the same time, I find it somewhat unbelievable that you hold me in the palm of your hand, watch over me & have my best interests at heart.

Please help me to learn to a new level what it is to rest, relax & open my heart

Thank you - Jonathan

SOAP - August 1

Scripture
1 John 4:12 No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us--perfect love!

Observation
I am struck by the pivotal words in this verse...BUT IF WE...that clearly leads me to the fact that there's a...BUT IF WE DON'T...version. With ramifications like God dwells deeply within us and His love becomes complete in us I'd clearly prefer the first...

Q: Am I going to choose to live like that requires me to?

Application
I have a busy day of tidying up ahead of my August downtime. A busy me tends to show the real me since I have less time to consider my actions & responses. My desire is that the real me will be loving, over & above that, I will apply myself to loving others.

Prayer
Father - thank you for your word & a reminder of the absolute essential of Your love. As I play my part in loving others today, please help me to represent you well & leave people feeling a little closer to you as a result of our encounter.