pride & vanity - chasing it down

As I referenced at the end of the second post (August 8th) in this mini-series, I've become aware of a sequence that can be seen during my encounters with people. For this post, whilst both pride & vanity are at work, I believe they have the same generic root - that is somebody other than God being in focus. Given that, I have, for the most part, lumped them together.

The sequence starts as follows...

I think & say whatever I want to but with no awareness as to any p&v that's driving my words

Then moves on to...

I think & say whatever I want to, am aware of p&v driving my words but don't care

I think & say whatever I want to, being aware what p&v is driving my words & caring but not enough to stop saying them

I think & start to say whatever I want but aware of what of it is driven by p&v, care enough to stop part way through sentences

I think of what I want to say, am aware of any p&v behind those words & care enough to stop before I start

I believe I'm somewhere between these last two (more of that in a moment). Given that, I can only presume what comes thereafter, but I reckon we'd be looking at...

a pure heart out of which comes pure thoughts & pure words with no filtering required!

Over the past couple of weeks I have sought to face the demons of p&v, some of that in public. I've had to come to terms with the bigger issue in my life being vanity. On the way into August, I'd have been expecting these four posts to be a battle with my pride.

Going forward, I'm still working out my theology on what's the 'active' part in addressing my pride & vanity. Thus far...

1) I don't believe it's primarily about trying harder - clearly conformity to Christlikeness is in order

'transformed into the same image from glory to glory'    (2 Cor 3:18 ASV)

2) I must allow the Holy Spirit to live within & cultivate His presence

'the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out' (Luke 3:16 MSG)

3) Giving God the top spot in life (pride & vanity - who's being uplifted) in every way possible is essential to displace any mistaken notion of pride (my Godlikeness)

4) As I love Him more, my love of self & for others will come out of that, chasing away the needs of vanity

5) Rather than the mere passing of time, I do believe intentional disciplines are essential

Within this, I'm at a pivotal point where to press on is painful. It requires me choosing to be less visibly 'virtuous'. My current state of stopping part way through sentences has to change - I'm going to need to die in silence.

Elvis said it best - 'a little less conversation, a little more action please.'

That's me done. Thank you for your patience as I've sort to 'work out my salvation'. My prayer is that we would all do the same as we continue on our pilgrimage.

Jonathan

pride & vanity - in practice

In pride & vanity - the basics (according to me!!), we considered the need to split pride & vanity into two unique demons of the soul. Given their individual nature, it would make sense that each needs addressing in a different way. Having started us off down this path, Finding Happiness continues in this way.

As a counter to vanity, the Abbot introduces magnanimity & defines it as follows

The word comes from the Latin magnus animus meaning literally a large mind or more colloquially a big heart

Practically, this manifests itself as me delighting in & praising others for no other reason than those themselves, expecting nothing in return. I find myself able to grasp & (at times) practice this!

Not surprisingly, Finding Happiness also introduces humility as the counter to pride. I find that far more difficult to define, let alone embrace & practice. C J Mahaney's Humility, True Greatness has helped me on this front.

He zones in, firstly on daily practices & then some focused ways to help embrace humility. The whole book is worthy of comment but what follows are my highlights.

Daily practices

1) Reflect on the wonder of the cross - for me, this is best captured as regular confession of sin

to truly be serious and deliberate in mortifying pride and cultivating greatness, you must each day survey the wondrous cross on which the prince of glory died 

every time we look at the cross Christ seems to be saying to us, "I am here because of you. It is your sin I am bearing, your curse I am suffering, your debt I am paying, your death I am dying" 

all of us have inflated views of ourselves, especially in self-righteousness, until we have visited a place called Calvary. It is there, at the foot of the cross, that we shrink to our true size

2) Begin your day expressing gratitude to God - for me, this is best captured as regular counting of my blessings

3) Begin your day acknowledging your need of God

4) Practice spiritual disciplines

5) Seize your commute

6) Cast your cares upon Him

7) Avoid cosmic plagiarism

whatever success you experience in your life and ministry and vocation, learn to immediately transfer the glory to Him

8) Accept the gift of sleep

Special focus ways to weaken pride & cultivate humility

1) Study the attributes of God

"apart from God, I cannot exist. Apart from me, God does exist. God does not need me in order for Him to be; I do need God in order for me to be." R C Sproul 

"by the grace of God I am what I am, but God says absolutely...I am that I am" Matthew Henry

2) Study the doctrines of grace

the doctrines of grace leave no room for self-congratulation, no room for self-glorification 

our calling upon Him was preceded and made possible by His calling us! That's humbling

3) Study the doctrine of sin

the ultimate effect from such hardening by sin is that grace, for the Christian, is no longer amazing

I haven't gone into much detail in this post, the reality is you may need to do your own leg work & for my part, I want to get to the final part of this mini-series & then move on. I'm hoping I can turn my current draft into a finished article before we depart for our family holidays!

Any prayers on that front would be welcome, since, I believe this next post is an important chapter end for me & one of the key aspects of my August experience.

Jonathan

pride & vanity - who's being uplifted

There are (at least) a couple of matters that have grown massively in importance to me during this year...

1) a need for actions to match words...Words are not mere words, you know. If they're not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul (2 Tim 2 MSG)

Without this, we aren't authentic, we aren't modelling & we aren't providing true leadership (& we're all leaders)

2) beyond that there is a need to further consider what drives those actions

I can do the 'right' things for the wrong reasons & be out of whack

I find it fascinating to consider the ordering of our relationships in different scenarios. I'm not saying these orders are correct for all occasions (yes I remember Jesus first, Yourself last & Others in-between!) but they are helping me as windows into my behaviour.

The key questions I consider at any point in time are...

1. where's the love?
2. whose view of me matters most?
3. who's being uplifted?

For each scenario below, I also pose a couple of starting thoughts. I'm sure if they aren't your versions, you can get honest with yourself & fill in the blanks.

Right standing:- God is in His rightful place, I find my identity in Him & love others as I love myself, as follows...

God
Me
Others

Leadership: people following me following Jesus
Listening: I listen so as to listen

-------------------------------------------------

Given pride:- I'm the most important person to me & in my ultimate desire to be God, I want as much of a gap between me & the Real Deal; leaves you with this...

Me
Others
my God

Leadership: people following me following me

Listening: I 'listen' so as to talk (to uplift myself!!)

-------------------------------------------------

Given vanity:- my desire to be God to others is paramount & they get used to 'fulfil' this fantasy, resulting in this order...

Others
my God
Me

Leadership: who knows who's really leading who?!

Listening: I listen so as to fix (taking God's place)

-------------------------------------------------

Using these filters (often in real-time) has greatly benefited me during this year - especially in my interactions with people.

I was planning to post more on that front next time but feel to change the order of the final two pieces, now finishing with pride & vanity - chasing it down, for reasons which should become obvious.

TTFN - Jonathan

pride & vanity - the basics (according to me!!)

Introduction
I've mentioned pride & vanity (p&v) a few times during previous blogs but have never sought to try & do them justice. Clearly, that is actually impossible to do, but I'm about to have a better go than previously.

Having considered an overview of what I intend to cover in the next few posts, my desire is to be as honest as possible about my own pilgrimage & trust I don't upset or offend along the way.

During a recent lunchtime chat/analytical session, I was encouraged by a remarkable friend of mine to rejoice in the visible grace of God on my life & celebrate my journey to date. I intend to take this to heart but at the same time do not want to avoid confronting the demons of pride & vanity that lurk in my soul.

I've come to a belief that this month, including these posts should be (& therefore will be!!) the closing of a particular chapter in my life around these topics.

Overview
My current intent is to post 4 times. They may be longer than is my norm...

1) this is the first to lay some foundations

2) working title: pride & vanity - who's being uplifted

hoping that, at least in part, aspects of my journey are generic, I'd like to share an insight that is helping me come to terms with p&v

3) working title: pride & vanity - chasing it down

as with 2), this post will cover how I am intentionally working & therefore watching my p&v be transformed to Christlikeness

4) working title: pride & vanity - in practice

using Humility, True Greatness by C.J Mahaney as a guide, I'll conclude with some more practical reflections

Jonathan's Finding Happiness
Two additional books have greatly helped me to date in better acknowledging, understanding, embracing & dealing with p&v.

The first was Abba's Child by Brennan Manning which alerted me to what Manning refers to as the impostor - a shadow me I create to hide the real me & heighten my perceived chances of being liked!

Having been softened up, Finding Happiness by Abbot Christopher Jamison delivered some knock out blows.

The first amazingly useful thing Jamison does is to split pride from vanity (though I suffer from both). I believe that these days they are too often wrapped up together & 'just' tagged as pride.

Thereafter, a few quotes will further illuminate his thoughts far better than I could...

the final pair of the Eight Thoughts, however, is active in the spiritual dimension itself. These are the demons of the soul, vanity and pride, hidden from view and hard to detect

vanity becomes evident through attitudes such as complacency about our skills and qualities, sometimes combined with narcissism and self-admiration. It differs from pride because pride does not necessarily involve the desire for praise. Pride involves placing ourselves above others and ultimately placing ourselves above God

vanity is a demon of the soul, however, and so is overcome by generosity in the soul not in the body. A magnanimous soul is one that can affirm the true worth of self and of other people without needing to make special claims for oneself

if pride vanity is self-satisfaction, then pride is self-importance. The two often go together, but it is quite possible to have one without the other

Having meditated on these words & reflected on my own manifested p&v, I have come to the following working definitions...

pride - me wanting to be God

vanity - me wanting others to want me to be God

So, for now, I leave you at this point - hoping that; we've clarified that there is both pride &/or vanity to contend with, having an understanding that they aren't easy to detect & with definitions through which to view the ongoing 'conversation'.

The vain part of me (that wants you lot to regard me as perfect & Godlike!) would have me write all 4 posts, cross check them, make them interact well & then space the publication dates - I've quashed that part to publish one post at a time.

I'm (mostly) excited about grappling with some of the deep soul issues & trust you are likewise. As ever - I'd love for this to become interactive. BTW - if it hasn't become clear the title of this post is my version of humour - or it is?!

Jonathan

going a bit too well??

Those in regular conversations with me, know that 'fix' is a part of my make-up & vocabulary. I'm mindful that if not careful it can be both damaging (to me & others) in 'unfixable' situations & bring me uncomfortably close to 'playing' God's role.

This past week has built on the few that have gone before it & has been incredible. So much so, that I'm loathe to try & talk about it or explain it. It has seen plenty of 'fix' & in some cases, issues that have been around for years being resolved in days.

My part in this does not feel out of line with God's plan & purpose, but given my potential defaults, I want to keep myself in check. I'm doubly mindful, given a recent challenge via 1 Corinthians 3...

A couple of times this week, things have not 'gone my way', my reaction has been interesting - further 'work' required, I guess!!

I've also been doing some more thinking around my August existence & have added two more things to my intentional approach...

1. In 3 wants & isolation I mentioned pride & vanity - both are massive parts of me & I've decided to try & blog some of my journey during this quieter reflective time. I have set up a PandV category!
2. Alongside this, a desire for more depth than I'd always go for has brought me to a SOAPing plan during August. Again, there's a new category & it will be populated during the coming weeks

One final thought that struck me whilst reading Philippians...

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life (Phil 4:6-7 MSG)

These verses encourage us to pray about our worries. They don't say that when we do that our worries are 'fixed', they do say that when we do that we are settled by God's wholeness as it displaces worry at the centre of your life.

In times of worry, rather than looking for 'fixes', what I need to do is recalibrate & centre on God. When I do, His promises to me become more prominent & powerful in my life.

Q: Where might you need to hear this today?

Q: What promise from God do you need to remind yourself of? 

I feel sufficient ramblings have been endured - weekend well everybody

Jonathan