maybe

As part of a quieter August, I've had some time to think & reflect. I expected this to happen although my planning suggested some theological study. Rather than that, I've ended up thinking about the 'simplicities' of life - in particular sin, patterns, habits & disciplines.

I've returned at times to 1 John, which, alongside love brings out a theme of walking in the light versus walking in the dark, the latter highlighting our choosing to practice sin.

No one who lives deeply in Christ makes a practice of sin. None of those who do practice sin have taken a good look at Christ. (1 John 3:6 MSG)

Think about it naturally, if you're walking in the light it is still possible to stumble (sin) occasionally but far more unlikely than if you are choosing to walk in the dark & practicing.

Last August, I heard a man talk about the 'Moment of Maybe'. He defined it brilliantly in a context of how we often end up choosing to sin & one year on, it lives large in my thinking.

Rather than going straight from a No, I'm not going to do that to a Yep, I'll do that, he suggests we go through Maybe...

- what would it be like if...
- how would it feel to...
- could I get away with...

His wise counsel was to spot the Moments where we move to Maybe, allow the Spirit to guide us & quickly return to a place of choosing not to sin - turn on the lights!

We see a couple of examples of how this can play out from the Apostles, even as Jesus was preparing to make the ultimate sacrifice...

Judas

Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him. (John 12:4 MSG)

It was suppertime. The Devil by now had Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, firmly in his grip, all set for the betrayal. (John 13:2 MSG)

As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. "What you must do," said Jesus, "do. Do it and get it over with." (John 13:27 MSG)

Peter

Jesus said, "Don't be so sure. Today, this very night in fact, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times." (Mark 14:30 MSG)

Just then the rooster crowed a second time. Peter remembered how Jesus had said, "Before a rooster crows twice, you'll deny me three times." He collapsed in tears. (Mark 14:72 MSG)

For my part (& hopefully yours), this grounds itself most simply in a need to choose - will I choose to settle for the short term gratification of sin or choose the longer term rewards including a heavenly eternity?

As Deuteronomy spells out

I've brought you today to the crossroads of Blessing and Curse. (11:26 MSG)

Let's choose well - Jonathan

August is coming...

Last night, I emailed the Leadership team at CCN & the people I have the privilege of supporting, ministries wise. The message - I'm 'logging off' for the month of August.

It's something I felt called to do last year & given its value, I'm going to repeat the exercise. The previous version was a bit demanding given I fasted electronics; that being TV, Internet (including Blogs, FB & Twitter) & email. It was further 'exacerbated' by the fact that I was still in a period during which the Lord had told me to read nothing other than His word.

That said, I survived & feel like I can build on my experience this August.

What were my take-outs last year?

1) I re-learned how much of my identity can become wrapped up in busyness & task 

2) alongside this, I was forced to acknowledge that I don't always choose to fill my life with the correct things & that in the absence of my 'norms', I can feel empty 

3) by the end, I was convinced beyond any doubt that life is simpler than I often make it

What will this year's version look like?

I'm still working on all of the details but it is clear the month will be more intentional than during the previous occasion...

1) there will definitely be some travel again; a few days at the Willow Creek GLS & family time, including our main holiday

2) there are also likely to be some adjustments...

- I suspect a partial electronics fast this time, leaving in place the things that invigorate (Blog & Twitter), whilst eradicating the more stressful (email) 

- I'm also hopeful that I will be 'allowed' book interactions; both reading (I have a bit of a backlog) but also collating notes from recent key reads. These include Humility: True Greatness by C J Mahoney & The Me I Want To Be by John Ortberg 

- there are a number of topics I wish to study & given I lack a propensity for detail, this will require discipline 

- more people time; a major learning from last year was that I had insufficient time with others. This meant, I was heavy on input & light of output which brought frustration

What am I expecting?

This has proved to be a tough question to answer - not because I can't give an answer, but because I don't really like my answer & don't feel I can explain it succinctly...

- at one level, I am content to believe I will be back at the place spiritually, mentally & emotionally that I was on August 31st 2010 

- thereafter my 'need' for significance kicks in. My achiever wakes up & a desire to (visibly) 'make progress' raises its head

Would re-calibration cut the mustard? The reality is, I don't know. Which of my drivers are on this occasion worthy? Again, I don't know as yet. I am having to rest secure that whatever clarity & answers are needed will become clear in His timing.

Finally - why write this?

1) as with most of what I'm posting up in this blog, it helps me in that I am 'forced' to crystallize some of my thinking on a given topic 

2) I'm keen on accountability - how I plan to spend 31 days is, at least in part, now a matter of public record

3) it also gives me the opportunity to throw out a challenge! You may not be able to take a month out, but you are capable & worthy of rest. Maybe you ought to consider what your version of my August could look like

I may well blog again before August starts giving more detail on my plans for the month. Whether that happens or not, I will be posting up during the month itself. I find it cathartic & as mentioned above, it crystallizes what's swirling round in my head!

If, in a few weeks time you get an 'Out of Office' reply from me - please throw up a prayer, that I will be being conscious of His presence & attentive to His voice.

Jonathan

PS I'm far from closed to any bright ideas you guys might have on this topic whether around use of time or otherwise

letter to his impostor – Brennan Manning

If you’ve never read Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning, here’s a taster by way of a letter he wrote to his impostor after a twenty day retreat…

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Good-morning, impostor. Surely you are surprised by the cordial greeting, you probably expected, "Hello, you little jerk." since I have hammered you from day one of this retreat. Let me begin by admitting that I have been unreasonable, ungrateful, and unbalanced in my appraisal of you. (Of Course, you are aware, puff of smoke, that in addressing you, I am talking to myself. You are not some isolated, impersonal entity living on an asteroid but a real part of me.)

I come to you today not with rod in hand but with an olive branch. When I was a little shaver and first knew that no one was there for me, you intervened and showed me where to hide. (In those Depression days of the thirties, you recall my parents were doing the best they could with what they had just to provide food and shelter.)

At that moment in time, you were invaluable. Without your intervention I would have been overwhelmed by dread and paralyzed by fear. You were there for me and played a crucial, protective role in my development. Thank you.

When I was four years old, you taught me how to build a cottage. Remember the game? I would crawl under the covers from the head of the bed to the footrest and pull the sheets, blanket, and pillow over me - actually believing that no one could find me. I felt safe. I am still amazed at how effectively that worked. My mind would think happy thoughts, and I would spontaneously smile and start to laugh under the covers. We built that cottage together because the world we inhabited was no a friendly place.

But in the construction process you taught me how to hide my real self from everyone and initiated a lifelong process of concealment, containment, and withdrawal. Your resourcefulness enabled me to survive. But then your malevolent side appeared and you started lying to me "Brennan," you whispered, "if you persist in this folly of being yourself, your few long-suffering friends will hit the bricks, leaving you all alone. Stuff your feelings, shut down your memories, withhold your opinions, and develop social graces so you'll fit in wherever you are."

And so, the elaborate game of pretence and deception begin. Because it worked I raised no objection. As the years rolled by,  you - I got strokes from a variety of sources. We were elated and concluded the game must go on.

But you needed someone to bridle you and rein you in. I Had neither the perception not the courage to tame you, so you continued to rumble like Sherman through Atlanta, gathering momentum along the way. Your appetite for attention and affirmation became insatiable. I never confronted you with the lie because I was deceived myself.

The bottom line, my pampered playmate, is that you are both needy and selfish. You need care, love, and safe dwelling place. On this day in the Rockies my gift is to take you where, unknowingly, you have longed to be - into the presence of Jesus. Your days of running riots are history. From now on, you slow down, slow very down.

In His presence notice that you have already begun to shrink. Wanna know somethin',  little guy? Your much more attractive that way. I am nicknaming you "Pee-Wee". Naturally, you are not going to roll over suddenly and die. I know you will get disgruntled at times and start to act out, but the longer you spend time in the presence of Jesus, the more accustomed you grow to His face, the less adulation you will need because you will have discovered for yourself that He is Enough. And in the Presence, you will delight in the discovery of what it means to live by grace and not by performance.

Your friend

Brennan

The Adjustment Bureau needs adjusting

I wasn't planning to blog for a few days but earlier today, I saw The Adjustment Bureau. One day, I'll learn to find out a bit more about films before going - safe to say this wasn't that day.

What follows is not a comment on the film itself (which is very clever), nor the acting (which is good) but some of the theology & concepts in it. It's fair to say that on such topics there's plenty I don't know, that I'm happy with that being the case & actually believe it's correct (given I'm not God). Anyone who knows me, also knows I don't tend to ride the theological wagon very often, but this is something that couldn't & shouldn't be ignored (yes I know it's only a film!).

It's fast moving & I couldn't process quickly enough, so I'm left with what's 'stuck'. There is some good stuff in there but on reflection this causes part of my concern because it can be used as a 'Trojan horse' for some other less helpful lines of thinking.

There are some things I fundamentally believe - here's how they tally against the film

Agree

• our actions have consequences
• God's desire is that our choices will outwork His plan & that we pray accordingly
• how bold & free we then become in His presence, freely asking according to His will, sure that He's listening - 1 John 5:14 (MSG)
• angels don't know every detail of God's plan

Disagree

• God & His angels spend their time messing with our free will
• that God takes a rubber to the plan & issues a new one
• angels swear

Don't know

• whether we can change God's mind (e.g. through prayer). There seem to have been a few extraordinary biblical characters who did manage this, as for me...?

So, I'm not saying do or don't watch this film. If you do, take the opportunity to stay on your toes mentally with your spirit alive & looking at it as (in part) an opportunity to strengthen your beliefs. I may yet end up watching it a second time for myself!

BTW - if anyone comes by one of those hats & finds a way to use doors to travel around quickly, I'm a buyer.

Cheers for now

Jonathan