maybe

As part of a quieter August, I've had some time to think & reflect. I expected this to happen although my planning suggested some theological study. Rather than that, I've ended up thinking about the 'simplicities' of life - in particular sin, patterns, habits & disciplines.

I've returned at times to 1 John, which, alongside love brings out a theme of walking in the light versus walking in the dark, the latter highlighting our choosing to practice sin.

No one who lives deeply in Christ makes a practice of sin. None of those who do practice sin have taken a good look at Christ. (1 John 3:6 MSG)

Think about it naturally, if you're walking in the light it is still possible to stumble (sin) occasionally but far more unlikely than if you are choosing to walk in the dark & practicing.

Last August, I heard a man talk about the 'Moment of Maybe'. He defined it brilliantly in a context of how we often end up choosing to sin & one year on, it lives large in my thinking.

Rather than going straight from a No, I'm not going to do that to a Yep, I'll do that, he suggests we go through Maybe...

- what would it be like if...
- how would it feel to...
- could I get away with...

His wise counsel was to spot the Moments where we move to Maybe, allow the Spirit to guide us & quickly return to a place of choosing not to sin - turn on the lights!

We see a couple of examples of how this can play out from the Apostles, even as Jesus was preparing to make the ultimate sacrifice...

Judas

Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him. (John 12:4 MSG)

It was suppertime. The Devil by now had Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, firmly in his grip, all set for the betrayal. (John 13:2 MSG)

As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him. "What you must do," said Jesus, "do. Do it and get it over with." (John 13:27 MSG)

Peter

Jesus said, "Don't be so sure. Today, this very night in fact, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times." (Mark 14:30 MSG)

Just then the rooster crowed a second time. Peter remembered how Jesus had said, "Before a rooster crows twice, you'll deny me three times." He collapsed in tears. (Mark 14:72 MSG)

For my part (& hopefully yours), this grounds itself most simply in a need to choose - will I choose to settle for the short term gratification of sin or choose the longer term rewards including a heavenly eternity?

As Deuteronomy spells out

I've brought you today to the crossroads of Blessing and Curse. (11:26 MSG)

Let's choose well - Jonathan

going a bit too well??

Those in regular conversations with me, know that 'fix' is a part of my make-up & vocabulary. I'm mindful that if not careful it can be both damaging (to me & others) in 'unfixable' situations & bring me uncomfortably close to 'playing' God's role.

This past week has built on the few that have gone before it & has been incredible. So much so, that I'm loathe to try & talk about it or explain it. It has seen plenty of 'fix' & in some cases, issues that have been around for years being resolved in days.

My part in this does not feel out of line with God's plan & purpose, but given my potential defaults, I want to keep myself in check. I'm doubly mindful, given a recent challenge via 1 Corinthians 3...

A couple of times this week, things have not 'gone my way', my reaction has been interesting - further 'work' required, I guess!!

I've also been doing some more thinking around my August existence & have added two more things to my intentional approach...

1. In 3 wants & isolation I mentioned pride & vanity - both are massive parts of me & I've decided to try & blog some of my journey during this quieter reflective time. I have set up a PandV category!
2. Alongside this, a desire for more depth than I'd always go for has brought me to a SOAPing plan during August. Again, there's a new category & it will be populated during the coming weeks

One final thought that struck me whilst reading Philippians...

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life (Phil 4:6-7 MSG)

These verses encourage us to pray about our worries. They don't say that when we do that our worries are 'fixed', they do say that when we do that we are settled by God's wholeness as it displaces worry at the centre of your life.

In times of worry, rather than looking for 'fixes', what I need to do is recalibrate & centre on God. When I do, His promises to me become more prominent & powerful in my life.

Q: Where might you need to hear this today?

Q: What promise from God do you need to remind yourself of? 

I feel sufficient ramblings have been endured - weekend well everybody

Jonathan

3 wants & isolation

Regular readers will probably realise that maths, patterns & logic are core to my existence......this obviously permeates my reading of scripture. My last but one blog (w3grace) was a good example of that, this one is along similar lines.

I've been reading 1 John for most of this year - the underlying themes of love & sin patterns have been & will be posts on others days, for now I'm elsewhere, to be exact, 1 John 2:15-6 (MSG)

Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world - wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important - has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from Him

Reading those two verses, it doesn't take me very long to recognise myself. Words like pride, self & vanity come to the fore. And so, I am again faced with a choice as to what's more important & desirable to me in life...

• I do want my own way - so badly, most of the time (but less than used to be the case!!), this isn't helped by the fact that I'm also right most of the time! (that's a mix of leader, pride & a few other things talking)
• I do not want everything for myself - I am blessed with a generous spirit & whilst not blasé, remaining selfless is something I continue to cultivate
• I do want to appear important - at my worst, I couldn't put into words how much this is the case. Those 6 words represent a 'daily taking up my cross', created by a desire for significance alongside vanity
• I do not want to be isolated from Him - in Him I am unconditionally loved, in Him I am complete, in Him I find rest

When I set it down in print it's dead easy & I wonder what all my fuss is about - just choose Him & die will you. Yet, back in the realities of life, the demons of the soul that are pride & vanity exert themselves. That phrase is taken from Finding Happiness by Abbot Christopher Jamison, a book that continually challenges & educates me in my discipleship. More of all that in my next few posts.

Back to you...

Q: how do you score on John's wants?

Q: what drives those wrong attitudes & behaviours?

Q: where do you need to be more aware & thereafter more intentional?

In his excellent the me I want to be, John Ortberg repeatedly uses a phrase there is a God and it is not you. We'd all happily agree with those words & yet in our actions, our wantings, we are tempted to behave otherwise.

Rather than being downcast (I know I'm not) - my prayer is that even today we will each see a little more clearly the need for less of 'me' & more of Him.

Be blessed

Jonathan

wake up & smell right

This is a quick post up of something I wrote for another context but meant to blog on - around the question...

do I have the right scent?

In a CCN evening service recently, I was listening to Leah speak on ID. She referenced Jacob & it got me to thinking. We see in the Genesis 27 story that Isaac was eventually won over that Jacob was in fact Esau. It wasn't the voice (his words) since that wasn't authentic (v.22), likewise it wasn't the touch (his actions) though this came close (v.24). Isaac was convinced by the fact that Jacob had the correct smell...

He came close and kissed him and Isaac smelled the smell of his clothes. Finally, he blessed him (v.27)

As we go through life, we can say & do the right things, my prayer, however, is that we will carry God's scent on us, such that those that come close will find Jesus in us & find Him for themselves.

Let's stay fragrant

Jonathan

w3grace

Many of us will have heard of the great English cricketer W G Grace...this post is a twist on his name which came to me as I was reading some well known verses recently.

The verse in question is Matthew 11:29 (MSG) - the often quoted part being...

learn the unforced rhythms of grace

I hadn't considered before the injunction to learn & as soon as I did it became clear that there was more to this verse than I had previously grasped. The earlier part of the verse makes it clear that our learning will come out of 3 W's

• Walk with me: I'm challenged as to whether God is an ever present - is his presence the most important thing in my life? On another level, you can't go faster than the person your're following - as a recent tweet put it

God doesn't operate any faster in the twenty-first century than He did in the first. And so while we rush ourselves, we can't rush God

• Work with me: if we aren't working with Him, we are working against Him (even I believe if 'not working' at all). What has God asked of me where I am still to be obedient, do I need to seek fresh guidance from Him

• Watch how I do it: I find the life of Jesus truly inspirational & therefore it's not often a hardship for me to revisit Hebrews 12:2-3 (MSG)

Study how He (Jesus) did it...when you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item

Given my current 'take' on Jesus, I find the 3rd of these requirements the easiest to 'undertake'. For me there is no better way than a consistent reading of the gospels & frequent requests of those close in life as to whether they see me becoming more like Him.

I'm doing better on the 2nd than I used to but as a reforming control freak, this one's not always easy for me - more attentiveness to His voice, even in my everyday existence is a key part of 'conforming'.

The hardest W for me is the 1st. I like going fast, I like achieving, I like being fruitful & so as I've expressed recently (its june say something), the promised land is wildly attractive to me. But, I stay alert, discipline myself & my knowing of God & love for Him are growing such that He is becoming increasing all-consuming.

How about you guys out there in 'blogland'

Q: do you even want to learn the unforced rhythms of grace? if so

Q: which of the W's do you need to be most attentive to?

Q: what would be a good next step for you? 

The verse before the one I have considered (v.28) asks

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?

The verse after (v.30) promises that if we keep company with Him, we'll learn to live freely & lightly. May we each know His yoke as we learn His ways.

Jonathan

 

it's june - say something

The more observant amongst you may have noticed that I managed not to blog during May. At times I felt like I had nothing to say, other times, I was overwhelmed with subject matter (hence three drafts where I made a start). More of the time, however, I felt plain old busy & confused - in general & on where I would begin.

It's now June - a combination of my own desire together with promptings from a couple of friends brings me to needing to write a post. Last month, will I believe, prove to have been a seismic & pivotal period for CCN (Christian Centre). Maybe more of that at another time. It is also becoming pleasantly monotonous that every conversation right now, whether in an orgnanised meeting or organic conversation is trending to the topics of development & discipleship.

Given such thoughts & context, I remain unsure as to where's best to begin, but I'm parking my need for perfection, order etc... & choosing Exodus 33 as my topic. This is the passage that I find myself meditating on and talking about most frequently at the moment. It's likely that I will share some of these thoughts in CCN staff meeting next week (stop now if you don't want that spoiling!).

We find ourselves listening in on a conversation between God & Moses. God says that it's time to...

Head for the land which I promised Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (v.1 MSG)

We know from verse 3 that it's a land flowing with milk & honey, elsewhere we're told about the grapes. In verse 2, we also see that God's intent was to send an angel with them & ahead of them to clear out their enemies (all the 'ites).

So, to be clear, God is talking about a promised & fruitful place alongside His ongoing protection. Sounds good - I'll start packing.

Moses of the other hand was far less bought into this idea, his response was No Deal...

If Your presence doesn't take the lead here, call this trip off right now (v.15 MSG)

The desire & need Moses had for God's presence was so pronounced that he was willing to stay here rather than go there if that's what it took to remain with God. Take a minute...here was the wilderness, a barren place of survival & complaint, a place that had previously caused Moses to ask to die.

Our knowledge of the bible can at times put us at a disadvantage, like in this story, we know that God did actually carry on the journey of promise with them. However...

Q: real time - did Moses know that is wasn't a choice between here & there

Q: real time - would you have chosen the promised land, with all it brought & an angel but without God

I know that I am coming to increasingly crave God's presence. I also know what my answer to the second question can be when I need success, achievement & fruitfulness (as I am tempted to define them). I have to wonder if God was prepared to carry on the adventure with the Israelites because, if push had come to shove, Moses had chosen to stay here?!

My prayer for myself (& you if desired), is that I continue on my quest to know both God & myself better, such that I can love both God & myself more.

Have a blessed weekend - your fellow pilgrim

Jonathan 

come on you 20's

It's been a while since my last post, truth be told, I'm in a slump & have been for the month of April. There's more confusion in my life than is healthy for a control freak(!!), but I'm asking questions, talking with friends & believe Renewal will be along shortly (any1 for a diagram)!

Looking back over my weekly journal, it's clear that I enjoy blogging & that it's good for my soul & development (it forces me to clarify my beliefs in certain areas).

Looking back at my drafts, it's clear that I started something a week or so ago that would have been an angry rant at the younger generations, wrapped up in the lyrics to 'I kissed a girl' by Katy Perry - not my style.

I may, in time, still blog around those lyrics. I am most certainly going to blog about the younger generation, starting now.

I am passionate about people development & often find myself considering those younger than me. I've had several occasions even during my 'slump' month when those in their mid 20's have been foremost in my mind

1. During a time of refurbing the main hall at Christian Centre Nottingham (CCN) & to help out my friends on the PA team, I found myself up scaffolding wiring speakers & the like (heights aren't my thing). My mind free to roam, it was quick to rehearse the list of phenomenal 'kids' currently knocking around CCN!
2. I sat with a 23 year old recently who has the call of God on their life, believes they are to lead a church even in the short term, but is 'begging' to be developed. Their plea pained me
3. I then sat with the CEO of a leading book publishing house & we found ourselves talking about the power to be harnessed from within this (20's) generational decade - I was again at my mental list (as 1.) of CCN powerhouses

At the same time, I am reminded of something that has burned in me for a while around the biblical importance of the age 30. Off the top of my head, I can come up with the following list of 'players' that the bible says came to actual prominence at 30

• Joseph
• King Saul
• King David
• Ezekiel
• Jesus
• John the Baptist (30 maybe 31 given he was 6 months older than Jesus)

There may be more (OT priests for a start), but I suspect that list alone proves my point. I am absolutely not saying that our 20's are merely a stepping stone ('biding time') & I don't know what it is about the age of 30, but my spirit aligns with scripture in telling me it's a key age. I also resonate with the verse in Ecc 11:9 (MSG)

You who are young, make the most of your youth.
Relish your youthful vigor.
Follow the impulses of your heart.
If something looks good to you, pursue it.
But know also that not just anything goes;
You have to answer to God for every last bit of it.

As we've established, I am blessed (largely thro' my CCN existence) to observe a multitude of brilliant twenty-somethings, with massive gift, character to match & who are on fire for God. We (CCN) have an internship programme that gets better & stronger every year. What we don't yet have is the Leadership Development (LD) 'programme' alongside & on top - it's something we talk about, something we want, but something that (for various reasons) we don't yet have.

I feel like I have enough on my plate right now & yet the content of this post is so much more than words - it has me in pieces such that I feel unable to park at least playing a part in it. I don't know exactly what 'it' looks like as yet - truth be told, I don't know what a LD programme should look like. For now, whilst working on the rest, I prefer to consider the absolute necessity of character development from the twenty-somethings & visible modeling from the other parties.

In all my blogs to date, I haven't generated any 'comments' despite making it as easy as I know how - that's been fine. Now I am asking for comments, about this post: how twenty-somethings feel, how they can be helped, what they want & anything else you want to discuss on the topic...I'm switching to listening mode.

Yours - the one determined to play his part

Jonathan

PS I get that some comments (thoughts) might be personal, I'm open to 'private' conversations either in person or via email, Twitter or the like

PPS For the record, I'm also open to LD for those older than twenty-something, but that wasn't my purpose here

on your Marks 6, set...go

I'm guessing that it's safe ground to say that Jesus was truly impressive during the three years of ministry we 'see' in the gospels. One aspect, I continue to be wowed by, was his approach to people. I may cover His rudeness & intentionality in a later post, for now I'm at empowerment.

The most striking example of this I've noticed recently is contained in Mark 6. As can be my want, I'm gonna start at the end

They were stunned, shaking their heads, wondering what was going on. They didn't understand what he had done at the supper. None of this had yet penetrated their hearts (v.51-52 Message)

The disciples just didn't get it - sounds a bit like me & certainly like a group that were Work-In-Progress.

If we work backwards through the chapter we see these things were everyday matters like walking on water & the feeding of 5000, no wonder they were a bit non-plused. But hold on, what's this at the beginning of chapter 6?!

Jesus called the Twelve to him, and sent them out in pairs. He gave them authority and power to deal with the evil opposition. He sent them off with these instructions: Don't think you need a lot of extra equipment for this. You are the equipment. No special appeals for funds. Keep it simple (v.7-9 Message)

Jesus sent out the disciples - but they don't get it yet, surely they're not 'ready' yet...oh, what's that Lord, they are...righty-ho

I find it fascinating that Jesus

• sent them out in pairs
• told them to keep it simple
• made it clear that they were the equipment

Might it be that we sometimes cramp people's development by asking & expecting them to be close to 'finished' before we'll use them? Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely for character development, playing to gift, training & setting people up to succeed, but should we be more Christlike, following His example, including the needed willingness to embrace failure?!

Releasing people at whatever stage is always going to create a tension to manage (ref Andy Stanley) but rather than treating them as problems to be solved - let's make sure we keep it as such.

Your fellow WIP

Jonathan

30:200:300:2

I like numbers & patterns, don't hate me, it's just the way God made me! This extends to my bible reading, so imagine my excitement when I started to see a recurrence of numbers around silver coin stories in the gospels.

That is when one of the Twelve, the one named Judas Iscariot, went to the cabal of high priests and said, "What will you give me if I hand him over to you?" They settled on thirty silver pieces. He began looking for just the right moment to hand him over - Matthew 26:14-16 (Message)

Wow - betrayal is cheap, priced at a mere 30 silver coins (denarius - equivalent to about a months wages for an average person, Matthew 20:2). Bear in mind, this was the religious leaders agreeing to "pay him well" (Luke 22:5).

Moving on

When Jesus looked out and saw that a large crowd had arrived, he said to Philip, "Where can we buy bread to feed these people?" He said this to stretch Philip's faith. He already knew what he was going to do. Philip answered, "Two hundred silver pieces wouldn't be enough to buy bread for each person to get a piece." - John 6:5-7 (Message) 

The price of feeding the flock is far more (over six months wages) & rightly so. Interestingly, it doesn't say they hadn't got that sort of money.

Yet more extravagant again is the cost of our own abandoned worship!

Mary came in with a jar of very expensive aromatic oils, anointed and massaged Jesus' feet, and then wiped them with her hair. The fragrance of the oils filled the house. Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him, said, "Why wasn't this oil sold and the money given to the poor? It would have easily brought three hundred silver pieces." - John 12:3-5 (Message)

Bible commentators would suggest that as well as extravagant (we're now getting towards a year's wages), the jar of perfume was likely a key part of Mary's livelihood. This adds another dynamic to the story & caps off three stories that enable me to show a great progression from betrayal to worship & all is well with the world. Or so I thought! It was then that some bounder threw this at me

Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, "The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all!" - Luke 21:1-4 (Message)

Two pennies, that doesn't fit, for goodness sake, they weren't even silver!

Not only did that wreck my maths, it didn't do me much good either. The first three stories all contain relative numbers & I thought I had a sporting chance of getting my head around abandoned worship. This however, is absolute, this was "all she had" (I find it fascinating that it's 2 coins, not 1 or 3 - I'll explain why another time).

It might not be comfy & it sure doesn't fit neatly with my logic (although on a non-numerical level, there clearly is an escalation right through to the final story). At the end of the day, there is no escaping that we are called to give our everything. For me, that is a daily work-in-progress as I learn to hold on to some things less tightly & to never let go of Him. I trust you can say the same for yourselves.

Jonathan

Holy, Holy, Holy - sure?

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I want & we should want more of God's presence - by this I mean His manifest presence (accepting, but not referring to the fact that He can (if I allow Him to) constantly dwell within me by the Spirit).

Now to my dilemma - I'm not sure we know what we're asking for when we ask for this. I've sat in too many meetings where people with correct motives have invited God's presence to come amongst us. I haven't sat in many meetings where that has been introduced alongside a sober judgement of what that might look like. Let me illustrate

The first few verses of Isaiah 6 give us an insight into what it's like to be in God's perfectly Holy presence

• angels who themselves are pretty holy are using 4 of their 6 wings to protect themselves
• 2 for their face
• 2 for their feet
• they call back & forth to each other (Holy, Holy, Holy) so loud that the foundations of the building tremble
• paraphrasing Isaiah himself, his take on matters is...'oh crap, I'm about to die', admittedly having "looked God in the face"

At the beginning of 2010, Christian Centre (Nottingham) sat under some great teaching around being presence carriers & from this came a season during which there was an intensification of God's manifest presence.

There were two occasions during this period when I was genuinely scared to step into the building, in case we had an Isaiah 6 moment. I'm not sure we should live in that place all the time, I'm not even sure whether 'scared' is the appropriate word. I am convinced however, that we need to have the correct attitude when we ask Him to join us.

May we all experience more of God in every way possible & have the awe that goes hand-in-hand with approaching Him.

Jonathan